Minimalism is a wellness trend that results in some pretty strong feelings. Both for and against. After our friends and family and jobs, many of us define ourselves by our stuff. What we have, how much, what brands. No judgement, it’s an easy road to go down and I am no less guilty than the next gal. The thing is I view minimalism as relative. What is a lot of stuff to one person, may be very little to another. So I thought I’d chat today about what I think actually defines minimalism and what I think it means to be a relative minimalist.
A bit of background… I grew up in a working class family. My parents believed in purchasing the best quality items they could afford, knowing that quality things would last longer and stretch a dollar further. As my brother and I grew up, we were expected to save our money if we wanted certain things (CDs, video games, etc). We were also expected to spring clean every year, donating those items that could be donated. Our mantra was to get rid of something if we hadn’t used it in the past year, unless it had sentimental value.
Due to this, the first time in my life I ever had a storage problem was my first year in college and the dreaded dorm room. Not that everything didn’t fit, just that it was more squished than it was used to. I didn’t mind, though, I could move in three (small) carloads, and that included my very early 2000 vintage computer with full monitor, tower, and printer. When I left for grad school, I moved into a 400 square foot two room apartment with a half empty ten foot U-Haul. And it was awesome.
So, what changed? I got married. I am in no way blaming my husband, although he does come from a family that has more stuff than mine. What I am saying is that it’s a different stage of life. I had to learn (and am still learning) to accommodate his unique attachment to things. When I might choose to let something leave, he argues to keep it. It is a constant discussion in the spring at our place.
Then, we bought a house. Ours is modestly sized by most American standards, but when we moved in, we legitimately had two of the seven rooms empty and another that was barely furnished. Can’t have that, so over time, we filled those rooms. Not extravagantly by any means, but enough that we have two comfortable living rooms (one of which includes our office) and a space for guests to come and stay.
And then along came the kiddo. And, holy yikes! Does modern parenting come with a ton of stuff! The smaller the child, the more (and bigger) stuff you need. Stuff you’ll only use for a few months and that’s before you even get to toys. Before you can say, “Happy First Birthday,” you have a closet of mish-mash and boxes full of who-remembers-what in the basement.
So why do I consider myself a relative minimalist? Well, a lot of people think that minimalism is defined by the actual number of items you own, or the number of square feet in your (tiny) house. I don’t necessarily buy that. I believe that minimalism is, in fact, having fewer things but not to the point of robbing your life of joy. Or denying yourself something necessary. (A random side note, I might be the only minimalist type person on the planet who hasn’t read Marie Kondo’s book, but I did watch the Netflix series.)
I consider myself a relative minimalist because I try to consider both the current and future value of the things I purchase. There are always things that we need, but will we need them in the future? If not, is it something we can borrow? Can it be rented for a reasonable price? I try to use borrowing resources (hello library!) often and I still spring clean to donate annually. While asking if an item “sparks joy” is part of the process, it isn’t the first question I pose. My pragmatic self usually tries to assess an item’s use. Have I used this in the past year? How much? If I haven’t, is it hard to borrow/rent or would it be cost prohibitive to replace if necessary?
I try to consider if something can serve multiple purposes. I always owned a regular toaster until I met my husband. He is a toaster oven kind of guy and I am officially a convert because they can do so much more. I also try to practice conscious consumerism, considering if something I already own may be to serve another purpose before I purchase something new. I like to layer in the cold weather (#polarvortex) but I am still usually cold. Enter my CuddlDuds, which are special thermal tops meant for cold weather sports but are also amazing layering pieces and actually keep me warm.
In the case of the kiddo, we try to keep purchases to a minimum. Since he is young and growing quickly, I love clothes that are simple and mix and match so that we are purchasing fewer pieces. He has 1 drawer each of bottoms, tops, and underwear plus about 5 hanging pieces. We value toys that are open chain, like Play-Doh, Legos, and art supplies. We purchase fewer things and the nature of these toys inspires lots of creative play and imagination. I also tend to constantly rotate toys, so some are out for play and others are tucked away. When I change it, old toys become new again.
My house is not YouTube minimalist, but it is by no stretch cluttered. We have limited closets, but when opened, none will cause an avalanche. Do you consider yourself a minimalist? A conscious consumer? Let me know in the comments which minimalism practices work for you!
