At this point, I think we can all agree that 2020 has been a pretty stressful year. And my guess is that it isn’t going to let up any time soon. It is during times of stress, anxiety, and unknown that mindfulness practices are critically important. These practices allow us to keep our emotional balance and maintain energy levels. But how do you make space for these when life is so complicated?
Over the past year, I have developed a few tricks and hacks for getting my mindfulness on. If you are a regular reader (hi!) you’ll know that last year, my family moved – with our then three year old – to Germany for six months. I left my paid part time job to be a stay at home parent full time without a safety net (i.e. no grandparents, babysitters or other child care and to a country where I didn’t speak the language). Hello, stressful.
Then we returned home to what we thought would be normal. That lasted for all of two months and the coronavirus turned everything upside down. I was back to full time parenting duties without a break, but this time, BOTH my husband and I were also working from home AND we basically couldn’t go anywhere.
Long story short, it might be a small miracle that all three of us made it through without major battle scars. Truth be told, though, we actually didn’t do too badly in terms of supporting each other mentally and emotionally. And it comes back to those mindfulness practices.
My first tip is to pick mindfulness practices that are do-able for you. Journaling is an amazing practice, but if you have kids or are not a natural writer, it can feel overwhelming. If you are a person who likes music or stimulation, meditation may not be your jam. So take some time to get to know yourself a bit. What situations do you feel increase your energy or improve your outlook and which ones do you find draining? Maybe make a list of general things that you find relaxing or mood boosting and see if any patterns show up. Gear your picks towards this list.
My second tip is to decide on an individual mindfulness goal. Are you feeling low on energy or motivation? Are you feeling anxious or emotionally off balance? Are you feeling over-stimulated or like the world is just too intense? Each of these situations might require a different practice. I say might because one or two practices may be able to help combat several different things for you.
For example, I love to walk. Walking helps me feel energized. It also gives me time to work through emotions when I need to. And it is one of the few things that I insist on doing completely by myself. (Seriously. Both my husband and son know that if I have my sneakers and headphones on, I am not to be interrupted unless there is blood involved.) That allows me the time to distance from over-stimulation.
But certainly don’t be discouraged if you find that different mindfulness practices work to combat different difficult mental or emotional states for you. Again, take some time to figure out what works for you.
My third tip is to not be afraid to “fail” at mindfulness. I mean several things by this. You can “fail” at mindfulness by discovering that a certain type of practice doesn’t work for you. Lots of people love to listen to music as a way to destress or work through emotions. As I tend to be over-stimulated easily, that’s not a practice that I often find helpful. Keep in mind, finding out that something doesn’t work isn’t true failure.
You can “fail” at mindfulness by struggling with aspects of your practice from time to time. Maybe you couldn’t concentrate during meditation for several days in a row (a very common struggle, by the way). Maybe you skipped journaling for a week. Maybe you weren’t able to take a walk because the weather was gross. Just like before, these are not true failures. These are setbacks and some of the most important payoffs of mindfulness happen when you can work through setbacks and come back to your practice.
My fourth tip is to pick something small to do every single day. Journaling, as I mentioned, is an awesome practice, but it takes time. Drawing, painting, other craft-related hobbies, gardening, and reading are all other examples of mindfulness practices that are more time consuming. Most of us don’t have the time to do those every day.
Choose a small, simple practice that can be completed in five minutes or less. It will be really hard to argue yourself out of doing something that only takes five minutes. And doing something small daily is also a good reminder to take a bit of extra time when you do have it. I start the day with some breath exercises and gratitude journal right before bed. Two practices that take maybe 10 minutes out of my day. Two practices that allow me to start the day balanced and end the day thankful. Other examples of some quick practices include: simple stretching or sun salutations, short guided meditations (there are some awesome apps for this), saying grace before a meal, or setting a daily intention, goal, or mantra.
And my last tip is to advocate for mindfulness. I don’t mean sign a petition. I mean practice speaking up for yourself when you feel you need the mental or emotional support. Tell your partner, family, or friends that you need some time to re-center. Ask for what you need. And advocate for each other. Practice some of these things together with your family or friends. I have made no secret around here that I love a good gratitude practice and in my house it is a family ritual during my son’s bedtime routine.
If you have been hesitant to try a mindfulness practice, I hope these tips help you on your journey. And if you have questions, leave me a comment or send me an email!
