I’ve got another post today for you guys in my Germany series. One of the most asked questions when we were planning our move was if my husband and I spoke German. Today, I’d like to chat about what it was like to live in a country and not speak the language.
Tut mir Leid, Ich spreche kein Deutsch. Over the course of six months, I got really good at this phrase. I’m sorry, I don’t speak German. Depending on the day, I probably uttered this phrase a good half dozen times. See, I took six years of Spanish in school (although it’s been a very long time and according to DuoLingo, I have some practicing to do). So while that might be really helpful in a lot of other countries, not so much in Germany.
My husband took German in school and spoke some before we left. At least enough to translate signs, ask for directions, order in a restaurant, and find a hospital if needed. He was also working with a research group that comprised of other internationals, so his main language at work was English. But he had a base to work from.
It’s not like I didn’t plan for the language barrier. If you guys know anything about me at this point, you know that I am a planner. In fact, I had the best of intentions. We picked up a used German language course and I dedicated twenty minutes of time every night for almost six months leading up to departure to DuoLingo.
Turns out the language course was written in Greek and not helpful at all. And DuoLingo works best if you already have background in a language and just want to keep your skills sharp. So I figured that I’d pick it up, since you know, we’d be living there.
The thing is, to really learn a language you have to be exposed to it. And I ran into two issues challenges extenuating circumstances here. First being my toddler. I’ve mentioned I was a full time stay at home mama during this move, which meant I had my three year old with me. Everywhere I went. It is hard to get your ear on (which is a necessary step for learning a language) when you have a tiny human constantly yammering at you in your first language. It made it near impossible to actually hear the German at first.
The second circumstance was actually the lovely German people. See, they are required to learn English in school there. And most of the younger generations not only speak English decently, but they want to practice. I met several moms at the area playgrounds that were so excited to practice their English with me. And equally excited to have their youngsters exposed to English by my kiddo. And if I had a euro for every time someone started a conversation with me by saying, “My English isn’t very good…” I could finance my next European excursion. (In case you are curious, none of the Germans I met spoke poor English.)
Just to be clear, it was amazing to be able to navigate Germany this way. As long as I could stutter out that I didn’t speak German in German, the people were so understanding. Even in the few situations where the other person didn’t speak English, there was always a smile and attempts at slower speech accompanied by gestures. Not one single person made me feel badly for not speaking German. And we were not living in an area of Germany known for tourists either.
Now, speaking is only one of four language skills. The other three are reading, writing, and listening. I never had to write anything in German, so along with speaking, I’ll have to add that to my bucket list. Listening became easier over time. Especially in situations that are common across cultures or I found myself in a lot (i.e. the checkout line at the grocery store). By the end of our stay I was able to understand what was being said TO me. I may not have been able to reply in a useful way, but I could at least get meaning.
And I got a ton of practice at reading. Living in another country, guess what? Every single sign is in another language. I had to learn how to interpret them. Especially for things like biking. The street signs and rules of the road apply to bikers, too. Learning basic words also made grocery shopping much easier. And I will say that I am a fluent menu reader in German. (Never accidentally ordered something weird!)
So it’s not as though I didn’t pick up any language skills. In fact, being able to read simple things and get the correct meaning has inspired me to both try and learn some more German but to dust off my rusty Spanish, too. Learning activities offer a huge boost in mental health and confidence. Something we can use at any age.
And in the end, what I found is that a smile and some compassion are the universal language.
Tschüss freunde!
