Welcome, Warrior, to the next post in my Dimensions of Wellness Series. I’m taking the Dimensions of Wellness model and breaking it down to spend a bit of time expanding on the different areas. You can read my intro post here and the first post on Occupational Health here. Today, let’s delve into Social Health.
TW: mentions of abuse, abusive behavior, addiction, trauma
Dimensions of Wellness
If you are new to the concept of Dimensions of Wellness, I’ve got a full blog post that goes into some detail.
Defining the Social Dimension
Our Social Health is extremely important. This is something that I think each of us instinctively knows. More so than any other animal, we are social beings and need those interactions. There have also been volumes written about the effect of social media on social wellbeing and our overall wellness, so I won’t bore you with the details here.
More so than some of the other Dimensions, though, Social Health has a lot of intersections. Many factors can affect it, and Social Health can effect lots of other areas. Many of us have probably experienced how a big life event (wedding, funeral, moving) shifts relationships and the stress that can accompany those. Losing a friend or going through a rough period with a family member can also affect Physical, Mental, and Emotional Health.
Our Social Health encompasses aspects of our interpersonal relationships including but not limited to: marriage/romantic partnerships, children, parents, extended family, and social interactions with friends and other groups of belonging. It is important to note that a shift in one relationship can also internally affect this Dimension, disrupting other relationships.
Marriage and Romantic Partnerships
I have been with my husband almost 21 years, married 16 of those. I do not in any way consider myself to be an expert on these types of relationships. However, for many of us, at some point in our lives a romantic partnership becomes one of the most (if not the most) important relationship we have. These are the ones that usually have a strong influence on who we become and how our ideas change and morph over the course of time.
These relationships take a supreme amount of work and effort to maintain. And it isn’t always roses and rainbows. This is one of those relationships where the growth rate and direction of two different people can vastly affect Mental and Emotional Health. Our ability to navigate these changes and adapt to someone else’s different ideas, needs, and desires can create many areas of tension. Certainly, if children are involved as part of a family equation.
As has been a recurring theme, our access to resources we may need influences these relationships. Having insurance and the available time to seek counseling or therapy is a huge privilege. Even having the resources to have safe child care for something as simple as regular date nights is a state that many struggle to attain.
Children and Parents
Our family of origin (our parents and siblings) and the ones we choose to create for the next generation also have huge influences on our Social Health. Again, similarly to a romantic relationship, these are relationships that we are more likely to be involved with for long periods of time. On the other end of the spectrum, though, a healthy romantic relationship is typically one of equals. A child/parent relationship, at the very least, does not start out that way.
The relationship we have with our parents (and step parents or other adults who were a large presence during our formative years) can effect who we are for our entire lives. As of late, discussions of generational trauma have brought some of the more difficult aspects of these relationships to light. And even outside the bounds of racism, colorism, and the like, things like addiction have a huge ripple effect on subsequent generations. Of course, our relationship with our parents/caregivers can also provide us with wonderful experiences and examples to pass down.
The choice to become a parent also comes with its own set of issues that must be navigated. Discussions with partners. The choice to remain childfree. The difficulties that might be encountered with fertility. And that is before there is a new person to have a relationship with. Once that bundle is here, figuring out who you are as a parent, how you relate to your co-parent and any other children, and to yourself can create tension.
Family can be messy since, again, for better or worse we are related to these individuals. Avoiding toxic behavior patterns isn’t always possible and cutting someone out may not be feasible. We need to be particularly mindful of our own patterns and actively choose what serves us and what habits might need to be pruned.
Friends and Groups of Belonging
The family you get to choose. Although, that isn’t always the case or easy when it is. Sometimes life circumstances, such as a move or job transfer make the choice for us. Sometimes tendencies or toxic behaviors force a choice that we wish we didn’t have to make. Sometimes it is as simple as two people or a group of people growing apart.
Friends are hopefully the people who lift us up and we respond in kind. But, as a global pandemic showed us, virtual social events only offer so much. Having the time and ability to be together in person on the regular is crucial. And when we don’t have that ability, other areas of our wellness suffer.
Making tough decisions about who we allow in our social circles is an area of stress that the majority of us will face multiple times over the course of our lives. Feelings of responsibility and care drive us to maintain relationships that may be hurtful. The need for love and acceptance is one of the strongest motivators of human behavior and can keep us engaged with people in ways that are harmful for Mental and Emotional well being.
During this discussion, I have touched on some serious issues that can often come up in our Social Health Dimensions. I would be remiss to mention that relationships can also enter the darkness of abuse. These instances will obviously have some serious and far reaching implications for overall wellness. If you, or someone you know is experiencing some type of abuse, please do not hesitate to reach out for help. I have listed some available resources below for my US based readers. If you are outside the US, you can check with agencies such as Interpol or Unicef.
Always remember that who we allow and keep in our social circles can have far reaching consequences for our overall wellness.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call 9-1-1 or contact the local police.
National Domestic Violence
Accessible in English, Spanish, and options for deaf and hard of hearing.
National Child Abuse
Accessible in English, Spanish, and with resources for individual states.
Elder Abuse
Report suspected or confirmed cases of elder abuse to your local police.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration
https://www.sumhlc.org/resources/covid-19/samhsas-national-helpline-1800662-help/
Available assistance in English and Spanish. Help locating treatment facilities.
