Howdy-do Warriors! Did your grocery list include Halloween candy last week? Or maybe that’s on the proverbial fridge dry erase board this coming week. Either way, Halloween seems to be another one of those landmines for many of us when it comes to diet and willpower. And I’d like to take a minute and chat about what our kids are seeing from us and how that might affect them.
A few notes and caveats before I dive in: I am not a dietitian or nutritionist, so none of what follows is based on meal plans, calorie/macro counts, or medically managing conditions through diet. I have one child and, at least thus far, he has been a fairly unproblematic eater. In short, much of what follows is based on my own experience learning food freedom as an adult and trying to translate those lessons for my son. My thoughts are offered with humility and feel free to take them with skepticism.
I have, in the past, written about labeling foods as “good” or “bad.” Food does not have a moral value, thus branding them with morality based tags does more harm. We all make value judgements of others when we are in the market. A quick glance at their basket or cart and we jump to conclusions about the shopper based on what we see. These assumptions are often based on our own internalized moral assessments of the value of certain foods. Which in turn, is really a judgement of ourselves and how we have been taught to feel if we consumed said food.
Food, at least to my mind, is a substance meant to be consumed that provides necessary components to support life and its processes (like growth). From a human perspective, we need a balance of the macronutrients as well as vitamins, minerals, and a variety of yet unknown/undiscovered chemicals to support our bodies.
If we are going to assign moral value to food, it should be simply that it is good to eat food and bad not to. This, of course, makes light of individuals dealing with food scarcity, financial difficulties, and disordered eating behaviors. Those are important issues, each of which could warrant their own individual post. Yet more reasons why jumping to conclusions based on what you see in someone else’s grocery basket is harmful.
Back to my point, though. It is good to eat food because it keeps our body functioning. Here is where Diet Culture makes our decisions tricky. The “good/bad” moral values placed on individual food items comes from the reductionist nature of nutrition science. Food A contains a lot of Vitamin C, which supports the immune system; therefore, Food A must be better to consume than something else.
Diet Culture values food only for how it affects our physical bodies. Yes, our physical bodies are the shell that allows each of to live and experience our world and keeping it functioning is important. But Diet Culture does not give any thought to the effects food may have on our Mental, Emotional, or Social wellbeing.
There is a reason we refer to some foods as comfort foods. Consuming these just makes us feel good. Sure, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that these foods boost feel good dopamine (which can lead to its own downward spiral, again a post for another day). But these foods connect us to others, to culture and tradition that we value, and provide a means to feel in control during times of stress.
Arguably, taking care of our Mental, Emotional, and Social well-being is just as important as our Physical. So, how do we teach kids to value all of these? The easiest way to teach this is to model it. For most of us who have grown up with Diet Culture whispering in our ears and then internalizing those messages, that can be difficult.
But modeling the behavior you want to encourage, even when it is difficult, is more likely to reap rewards. This may mean doing some hard work on your own thoughts and judgements. What is the saying, “do as I say and not as I do?” Yeah, how many times does that work with kids? Which means you have to walk the walk and not just talk the talk.
When we talk about how “bad” a Snickers bar is, how much we want one, and how much willpower it takes to avoid it we are broadcasting to our kids that we will judge them if they choose to eat a Snickers bar. I’m also not a child psychologist, but I’m pretty sure that an environment of judgement isn’t one where kids thrive.
What if instead we talked about how our favorite candy to get at Halloween was a Snickers bar? How much fun we had picking out a costume, going trick-or-treating in the neighborhood, or watching scary movies with friends while we enjoyed some delicious chocolate? The simple Snickers bar becomes more than judgement. It becomes part of a story. Part of us. And it is something to savor for more than just it’s taste.
Now, I’m not suggesting that we let our kids (or ourselves) eat like it’s a free for all. What I am suggesting is that we want to encourage an environment where a banana and a Snickers bar can elicit the same level of excitement and satisfaction. And, since I am not a nutritionist, here are a couple of resources to hopefully get you started. This one is from an eating disorders and HAES specialist. And this is from a registered dietician and mom.
If you are a parent, let us know in the comments how you (want to) encourage food freedom in your family. Until next time, be well friends.
