May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I will be publishing content that focuses on mental health topics. To read past posts, click on the Mental Health tab under the Dimensions of Wellness Menu.
Is there any buzzier word in wellness (other than wellness itself) right now than self-care? Every InFlUeNcEr is posting content about which practices they employ to be as awesome as they are. And they often include selling you something. But I am here to tell you that self-care shouldn’t be equated with anything expensive.
In fact, I’ve written about this before. The fact remains, though, that women consume the majority of this content and therefore become the marketing targets. There are creams and potions to slap on faces so we look like we slept. Powders and supplements to give us more energy. Apps to help us better manage our time. Other apps to guide our meditation and relaxation. And teas and jade eggs that do nothing science backed, but we buy because someone famous said to.
Here’s the rub (oh, yeah, I forgot to mention expensive massages), though. Women, working moms (and the marketing marks) in particular are citing more stress, more to dos, and more mental load than ever before. Seems to me that the way to solve that issue is to give us more stuff to remember to do. All of which is in the name of helping someone or something else.
Self-calf care should refer to habits that help us care for ourselves by lightening our load. Self-care should reflect the things that are important to helping your unique self get through the day calmly, efficiently, and productively. A cream that I slather on to look like I got eight hours of sleep doesn’t help me when what I actually need is eight hours of sleep on the regular. Now I’m out the sleep and the money.
And by the by, don’t tell me I look tired. Besides being problematic, I already know, thanks.
What these marketing tactics are really doing is distracting us from doing the deeper reflective work that’s needed. I get it, though, selling an energy drink makes someone money. Selling us the energy drink is also (sadly) easier than reminding us that we don’t need to be everything to everybody. And that we can’t pour from an empty cup.
We have to stand up and call this what it is: gatekeeping. The dopamine hit we get from buying something that we believe will fix a problem only lasts so long. And then we need a new hit. So, the cycle starts anew and we don’t actually make any progress in solving our own individual needs.
We have to be willing to scroll past this nonsense and sit with our own needs. What is it that will make getting through our days easier? What will diminish the decision fatigue? What habits will help be feel my best physically, mentally, and emotionally?
I would argue that most of these needs can be met by attacking a couple of different areas. And none of them involve large sums of money.
We all need nourishing food. And you all know how I feel about labeling food. I’m not demonizing anything here. What helps you ensure that you and your family are fed with a variety of foods? Meal planning? Awesome, build a grocery list as a family activity and stick to a budget. Only thing you are purchasing is food you need. Meal prep? Also great! What recipes do you already have on hand (or need via a bit of Google research) that can work? Want to work on just having a larger variety of fruit and veg? You rock. Experiment with fresh, frozen, and canned to see what you like.
We all need to move regularly. What helps you accomplish this? Planning actual workouts like an appointment? Sounds good. Struggling to find time? Make it a family affair twenty minutes a day or talk a walk on your lunch hour. Hate HIIT or a certain exercise is uncomfortable? That’s okay. Don’t do it. Work up to it if you want. Gym membership too expensive or the environment is too intimidating? Again, no worries, that’s what therabands and YouTube are for.
We all need to relax regularly. It’s easy to look at your schedule and ask when? You’ve got to figure out how to make time for it. It doesn’t need to be long either. Five minutes of meditation every evening will do the trick. Meditation not your thing? That’s okay, try a journaling brain dump. Or maybe you want to start the day off calmly. Give yourself a few minutes in the morning to enjoy your coffee or tea in quiet. Practice saying no to things when you are overwhelmed.
We all need to rest. Actual restorative rest. There are seasons of life when this is tougher (hello newborns), but in theory those should pass. In practice, that’s not what happens. Aside from the technology recommendations that we’ve all seen (and summarily ignore), practicing other self-care habits like moving and eating well help. But we also need to practice making sleep a priority. Earplugs, sleep masks, white noise, cooler temps, going to bed at a ridiculously early hour. Do what you gotta do to get those ZZZs.
Nothing in my suggestions requires more than a one time $20 purchase. Yes, privilege make these easier to achieve for some. But none of these should be put out of reach for anyone simply because they don’t have the money to buy things. So next time you see an ad or clip on the news about things you can buy to help with self-care, please remind yourself that you don’t need to buy anything. Just be honest about what you need to feel your unique best.
