Howdy Warriors! Depending on where you live, we are right in the midst of back to school season, which translates to routine changes for most families. I figured this was as good a time as any to tackle the idea of balance in my Wellness Gatekeeping Series. If you’d like to read the intro, you can find it here.
If I’ve said it before, I’ve said it a million times, the wellness arena is a tricky one. On the one hand, you have the ideas of self-care, relaxation, meditation, and stress management. On the other hand, though, are the ideas of more exercise, intense exercise, micromanaging nutrition, and pushing through. It is a pain in the tooshie to navigate and, frankly, it is why we are so confused.
Even when it seems as though the message is helpful, there are lots of hidden undercurrents. “That Girl” routines, while advocating self-care, are really creating shame when we are unable to consistently get up at 5am for a 2 hour long morning routine. I have news: that ain’t self-care.
Exercise regimens that influencers sell on social media, that involve daily hour plus long sessions of very intense activity advocate for moving your body. But in reality these shame anyone who is time-poor or has a different movement ability. Not to mention the toxic selling of weight and size stigma.
In the media driven world, you are either completely zen’d out, communing with nature and your 20 step plant based, fair trade skin care routine or you are crazy driven with your time blocks, to-do lists, and non-negotiable meal prep and workout routines. Imma be honest, neither of those extremes sounds like a great way to live to me.
Balance is the key. But of course, for wellness to sell you something, they have to create a problem. You have to be not enough somehow. But here’s where our power lies. We are the ones who get to decide if we are enough. We are the ones who get to decide what we value and what we need to be our best selves.
What I need will invariably be different from what you need. What I needed last year is probably different from what I need now. But while the specifics may change, I argue, as I have in the past, that the basics actually stay fairly stable. And meeting these fairly stable basics is what provides balance.
Movement. Basic numero uno. All bodies are made to move and deserve to move in ways that feel good. Find something you like and do it. Of course, sometimes that also means finding a supportive environment, and that can be tough, but they are out there.
Nutrition. We all need to eat to survive. And here’s a shocker for you, we aren’t meant to want or like the same diet. Diet is nutrition, but diet is also culture. Eat what tastes good and what your culture values. Do it in moderation and forget the rest of the nonsense.
Down Time. We all need time to rest and recharge. Whether that is from workouts and movement or from the Mental and Emotional load of life. And down time will look different depending on what we need. Sometimes it’s a walk outside, Sometimes it’s an extra half hour of sleep. Sometimes it’s a Netflix night.
Routine. Knowing where we are supposed to be or what comes next without needing to think about it is super under-rated. Creating routines and rough structures to at least part of your day is calming. And no, these don’t need to be complicated, involved, or time intensive. Simple is best.
Flexibility. The more complicated we make routines, the less flexibility we have when we need to. Part of the fun of living life are the spontaneous things we do. Give yourself the breathing space for those.
Social Support. Family, friends, colleagues, whatever. Especially into adulthood, finding and maintaining relationships can be tough. But knowing you have someone in your corner is so, so worth it.
The idea here is that you need to examine who you are and what you need to feel centered. My therapist calls it, “operating from your place of strength,” and I love that phrase. It reminds me that I am the one who decides what that place looks like and how to build it.
Rather than listening to the cacophony and dive deep into one particular method or put all of my eggs in one basket (say, movement), I have learned to take a bit from here and a bit from there. Take the parts that work for you and piece together what you need. This is balance.
When we find balance, we can actually devote more time and energy to those things that matter to us. We are more effective parents, partners, and people. We know ourselves better and are able to offer stronger support when others need it. Moreso than an overly complex morning routine or a hard driving workout regimen, this is true wellness.
Until next time, be well friends!
